I had an appointment with my OB the day before she was born. The appointment was supposed to be two days later, but I was beginning to lose my mind from constant back pain, lack of sleep, and overall anxiety. Austin's Step 2 board exam date was looming ever closer and the thought of him either leaving us for three days less than a week after she was born or potentially missing the birth was starting to become a very real possibility. I called my OB's office and asked to move the appointment up. At the previous week's appointment, I was dilated to 1.5 centimeters and was 40% effaced. My doctor solomnly informed me that it could easly be another week, despite my due date being a mere two days away. Needless to say, I was quite upset to learn that despite a week's time having lapsed since the previous appointment, I had made zero progress other than my cervix having "ripened." Again the doctor warned that it could be at least another week, possibly two. Upon hearing that news, I asked for an induction. Two more weeks, I did not have. I think he could see the desperation in my eyes and, thankfully, consented-- provided there was room at the birthcare center.
Twenty minutes later, a sweet older nurse came into the room and told us to go home and pack those bags because we needed to be at the Birthcare Center at 8pm that evening.
We left the office with the biggest, dumbest smiles on our faces. We were going to go have a baby. In eight hours! The remainder of the day was a mishmash of loose ends- Austin crammed in a few extra hours of studying (how?!). I frantically washed our bedsheets, cleaned our floors, set my out-of-office reply, and packed the final items into my hospital bag. Austin and I went out for woodfired pizza and gelato that evening. It was the same restaurant we ate at the night we found out I was expecting with the baby that we lost. It seemed appropriate for our final celebration as a family of two. When the gal behind the gelato counter took our orders, she asked us if we had big plans for the evening. We giggled and told her "we're going to go have a baby!"
The drive to the hospital was quiet. As we walked into the birthcare center, I felt myself relax in a way that I had not throughout the entirety of my pregnancy. For all those months, I struggled with intense anxiety and fear that something terrible would happen to my baby. But in that moment, I knew that we had made it and I was really, truly going to meet my daughter.
Immediately upon check in, I was instructed to change into my hospital gown. There was no pomp and circumstance. My night nurse simply said "Take everything off and put this on with the opening in the back. Then we will get your IV started." I remember looking at Austin, wide-eyed. He just smiled and nodded. Labor was induced by 9pm. The night was long. Contractions started almost immediately and came regularly at two minutes apart throughout the night. My nurse was kind, but overbearing, and frankly, a little loud. She cared deeply, which was obvious, but she exacerbated my discomfort by loudly asking about my pain and bringing me juice that I did not request. Austin slept beside me on a cot, miraculously undisturbed. By 6am, the contractions were growing ever more painful and I was running on very little sleep. I buzzed for the nurse to ask for something to help take the edge off. A new new nurse appeared- a sweet older woman named Evelyn. She was quiet and firm and exactly what I needed to get through the process. After speaking with the physician, she gave something through my IV to help with the pain and eased me into a warm bath. The next hour was easily the very best part of my labor. I was finally able to sleep with a little bit of pain relief and the warm water felt like. By 7am, it was time to start pitocin since my body wasn't making much progress on its own. The next 5 hours were a complete blur spent walking around the room, leaning on Austin, crying, and making strange noises. By noon, I could no longer labor without medication. My body was making incredibly slow progress, only dilated to a four after nearly 15 hours of labor. I couldn't imagine continuing without an epidural. Within 30 minutes, anesthesia had been paged, my epidural had been placed, and suddenly, I could relax.
Despite being pain-free, the events of the day remain foggy. At some point, Evelyn checked me again and I was only at a 5. She said it would be unlikely that I would have the baby on her shift. This somewhat frightened me because I couldn't bear the thought of my night nurse returning for the ultimate event, but there was nothing to be done, so I dozed once more. At 3pm, Evelyn checked me again. "It looks like this baby wants to meet me afterall," she joked. "What am I at," I eagerly asked. "You're complete," she smiled. She told me the doctor would be in soon to break my water and that afterward, I would labor down for a bit longer.
My doctor arrived around 4pm and broke my water without issue. A quick cervical check later and he announced that the baby was "right there" and we would soon begin the real work. Not long after, room came to life with people. The warming light was turned on above the bassinett by my bed and I knew it was time. I was instructed by Evelyn to try a practice push and after one eight-second count, was told to stop. My doctor reappeared and asked if I was ready. It was 5pm. With each contraction, Evelyn told me when to push and quietly counted to eight. My doctor was less involved with the process than I expected. He calmly stood back and remarked "You're pushing exactly the way you should be. That's perfect." With each contraction, I squeezed my eyes closed, held my breath, and pushed with all of my might. After three pushes, Austin told me she was almost here! My doctor had me give one final push, pause, and another half push. Then it was over.
I will never forget opening my eyes and seeing her sweet little body being held out for me to take. I began to weep. At that point, I forgot everyone else in the room. I never saw the numerous hands wiping her down or Austin cutting the cord. I didn't see anything except her little pink body against my own. She was perfect and she was mine.
It was quite some time before everyone cleared out and it was just the three of us. We came to the hospital with a list of possible names- eight, to be exact. But immediately upon seeing her, I knew her name. In fact, I honest to goodness, couldn't remember the other names on our list. When everyone finally left, Austin asked me what I thought her name should be. I told him that I knew what it was from the moment I saw her.
"She's Greer," I said. And she most certainly is.
